Crazy Nights and Malacca Day Trip

Monday night would see my good friend Edd touch down on Malaysian soil for 2 weeks. I was looking forward to seeing a friendly face, a few nights after work, maybe a crazy Saturday night, some beers, good food and great conversation. None of this happened in the 2 weeks he was here however! I was quite grateful for the giant bars of Toberlone he had bought here for the team. Mainly because I ate my way through a good portion of it hiding at the back out of sight where I hoped it would get forgotten about.

The week was generally quite quiet at work, it was like a gentle breeze you get leading up to a storm. The storm in this case was the team night on Friday where everybody seemed to want to let off a lot of steam. Thursday I play futsal again and this time I played much better and the games more competitive. We won 4 out of 4 and I banged in a few goals. My skills still need some work but the touch is improving. So Friday came, we hadn’t been out together yet and I didn’t realise what I had let myself in for. An hour in and the Tequilas were flowing and night in full swing. The remainder of the night will be left unsaid here but let’s just say I woke with a pretty large hangover the next day, smelling of sick that wasn’t mine. You can purchase the uncut version of this blog for £1000 at the end of my journey.

Saturday was another night with the usual crowd down Changkat. To my disappoint Edd had deserted me, so it was a last minute night with my Malaysian friends in the usual club. Always a good night however and I met rather cute Malaysian Girl. They really know how to dance, Ill give them that and put English Girls to shame. Sunday, waking up with no hangover, I went food shopping and met Edd for a quick drink before being taken for some Banana leaf rice. Now if your, like me, wondering what Banana leaf rice is, believe it or not its rice in a Banana leaf. Well at least I think it is, still not quite sure. Whatever it is, it tasted very good but sadly no Banana flavour. However no matter how nice it tasted, it did not agree with my stomach for the next day and a bit. This was the first bad experience I had eating out in the local places.

Curry for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This was breakfast

Wednesday night came and it was time to try a new club. It was one of the Malaysians lads birthdays and we were going to a club called Rootz. It was a huge club at the top of a shopping mall. It was ladies night so you had to keep your wits about you. Though I entertained myself by playing “guess if that girls a girl” for some of the night. I never got close enough to any of them to do the cough and drop though.  The club itself was like a worse version of a Liquid back in the UK playing some terrible music over an even worse distorted sound system. Anyway I had work the next so it wasn’t a late one but I still felt a bit rough Thursday morning, mainly though tiredness.

The KL Liquid but with LadyBoys

Thursday, futsal night, boring futsal night. Not this time, after futsal one of the lads wanted to introduce me to infamous Beach Bar. I’d heard many rumours about this place, but never really believed them till I arrived. The rumours were true. A bar full of Thai, a few African hookers and lady boys. If I was drunk, I probably would have embraced the experience and gone with it, playing along with them and leading them on. But having only one beer, I felt rather uncomfortable and didn’t know where to look. After a while I started to find it rather funny. It’s not many times in your life you go into a bar and every “girl” that walks past you tells you “you’re gorgeous” and grabs your bum.  If only they wasn’t all hookers! I didn’t stay long, but long enough to know I won’t be going back anytime soon unless I’m still here when I’m 40, turned ugly and have to resort to paying for their company. Just looking at some of the guys in there that these girls could have been with turns me off, and to think I would be having their seconds and paying for the pleasure. No thanks! Its quite sad to think that the girls life’s are that bad that this is what they have to turn to. Maybe that’s how all these shopping malls are surviving, through prostitutes and pimps money. Still there were about 10 girls to 1 guy, so maybe not, they can all be getting business.

The Beach Club, Hookers were sheltering inside

 

 

Friday was a managers at works leaving due and also Edds last night. I was going to Malacca early the next day and Edd was flying at 2 in the morning, so I went and said my goodbyes. Edd fly’s out here for a long time on the day I fly home so there is a chance I won’t see him for 15 months after this night. Which, I hate to admit, is actually quite sad after sitting next to the guy for almost 9 years of our working life and being great mates. To sit next to someone for 9 years, hangout outside of work and get on so well and never argue I think is a pretty good feat.

See you in 15months!

 

So Saturday my alarm went off at 7.30! Boy was I not happy at waking up at 7.30 on a Saturday morning. I was so determined to eat breakfast before getting picked up at 8, I rolled out of bed, straight into my clothes, cleaned my teeth and left looking like id been dragged through a hedge. I was that tired I didn’t even put my contacts in, which is a first as I never step foot outside without them.  Anyway I jumped in the car, laid on the back seat and tried to sleep for the 2 hour journey. When we got there we went for the traditional breakfast of naan style bread and curry. Yep, curry for 2^nd breakfast. We headed to the town at which point the heavens opened and it battered it down with rain, so we took shelter in a shopping centre until it calmed down, 2 hours later. I amused the guys by doing my best Geri Halliwal impression and dancing in the rain (not to raining men). 

View at the top of the hill of Malacca

Once it calmed down we headed for the historical part of the day. There is a big Dutch and Portuguese influence here and you can this by looking at the architecture. We climbed up lots of stairs to this ruined religious building (St Pauls) where a few important Dutch historical figures were buried. I’m not to sure what it was but there was good view out the ocean sea. Id not seen the sea for at least year so I got little excited. After lots of photos and stair climbing we were all a little hungry so headed for some food. We replenished and then headed for the famous Malacca Coconut Milkshake, and I have to admit, it was very good.  Fresh Coconut milk and ice cream through a straw mixed with a few sexual references, what’s not to like.

Jonker St Night Market

Next came my favourite part of the day. Only because we were going to street that had the words Joker and Conker mixed together. Childish I know but we were heading to Jonker street, a night market full of food and well, crap it turns out. I didn’t buy anything, tried a few local delicacies and found a handmade chocolate shop. At the end of Jonker St was a nice river walk, which if the day had been nicer is where we was going to take a river cruise. After seeing the river I had wished it had been sunny. After walking round in a circle back to the top of Jonker St we found they had set-up a little show. Now this was no ordinary show, but was home to a performance from a man with a “SUPER POWER INDEX FINGER”. I found it funny as there was a tape on repeat with a Chinese guy trying to sell him, telling us all about his records. You had to be there and have a slightly immature personality. After waiting 30min for the man with a SUPER POWER INDEX FINGER to smash through 3 coconuts we gave up and headed back to the car. We were all pretty tired and the long day had started to take its toll. I managed to stay awake for the 2 hour drive home but passed out as soon as my bed hit the pillow at 1am. I woke up and headed to work on the Sunday at 6pm, till 12.30 that night after a 13 hour sleep.  Good weekend but a tiring one. Luckily I only have a 4 day week ahead.