Penang Weekend Trip

Id booked a long weekend to go to Penang and by the Thursday night, being my usual unorganised self, I still hadn't booked my coach for the trip. After spending a few hours Thursday night doing my research and looking to book, I thought I would get up early Friday and just turn up. After all there were plenty of coaches. They all just leave at stupid time in the morning. So u set my alarm for 6 and went to bed. Morning came, I rolled over and hit the snooze button, again and again and again till I thought, umm I'm to tired for this I'll go tomorrow and sort myself out properly. So spent Friday doing my research, booking my hotel and ticket.

So 7am Saturday, I spring out of bed, jump in the shower to wake up, get ready, grab my things and rush downstairs for breakfast to set myself up for the day. I got to the bus station at 8.30 to collect my ticket and get on the bus ready for my 5hr journey. I took my bag on the bus not trusting anyone but the company looked quite reputable so I don't think I need to worry. You here dodgy stories about these bus trips. The bus was big and nicely air conditioned so I plugged my iPod in ready to leave. I slept for most of the journey on and off but did see some amazing scenery travelling through the mountains and I woke in time to view the bridge crossing into Penang. A 13km bridge takes you from the main land to the Ireland.

View through the bus door on the bridge going home

 

Once in Penang after a fairly comfortable journey I jumped off and looked for a taxi. The bus station was a few miles from George town where I would be heading. By now it had been raining solid for about 3 hours and I didn't bring my umbrella. Luckily there was no need to go outside. So I got my taxi an headed to the hotel. Once checked in I relaxed a little and thought I would wait for the rain to stop before heading out. I'd picked up a map so I plotted my route.

Harbour in the rain @ Straits Quay

By now it was nearly 5pm and I was hungry. I was close to George Town so I headed to little India which has been recommended by Ginny. Kapsitan was the restaurant I was after. Ginny and Zoe ate here 3 nights running stating it was one of the best meals they had the whole trip so it was a must, and I must say it was rather good. After this I had a good walk round, taking in the Indian culture here in little India before heading to the more touristy part. I managed to find a converse outlet store and pick up some new converse for £16. Steel I think. By now it was 8 so I headed back to drop of my new purchase,tidy myself up before I heading out to find a pub for a drink.

Harbour in the sun George Town

What I managed to find was a strip of 2 or 3 bars showing the football. So stayed there for a bit and watched the end of the Chelsea game while listening to a mix of live Chinese and English music. The guy singing wasn't great and it started to grate on my ears after a while but I hung it out. Penang was rather quite for a Saturday night and there didn't appear to be many travellers, but I guessed they in a backstreet pub somewhere and I didn't have the time to explore to find it so 3 pints and Man Utd win over QPR later I headed back.

Looked better in the sun on SUNday

I had breakfast included in my hotel but missed it getting up to late as usual. I got myself and my stuff together and left by 11. I was told I had to try the local Indian breakfast so I got some directions to a good restaurant and went for a Nasi Kandar. Curry for breakfast again but it was worth it. After I jumped on a bus to the closest beach about 30min away. When I got there I was a bit disappointed. Not the clear, sandy beaches I ha hoped for. The water was rather murky but this might have been due to the rain, but luckily the sun was scorching hot so jade the most if it and relaxed for a couple of hours. After this I headed back to George town and planned to head round towards the old jetties. I had quick look round Penang fort which they used to defend the island during the war and had a but of a history lesson though there wasn't much information.

The Streets of Little India

 

Slightly overcast shot of the beach

 

I then headed to jetties which was much more interesting. I walked down the first one and watched some young locals doing some fishing. I went for a walk weaving in between the old wooden houses on stilts. In one the front door was wide open and I could see an old lady just sleeping on the floor. No Mattress or nothing living in a house with no furniture. The was a young child couched in front of tiny TV in black and white. The house only appeared to have 1 room and a small kitchen and toilet.

 

Fishing of the jetty

 

The next jetty I went to more was clearly the tourist one. Walking down every house had been turned into a miniature shop selling all the usual arts and crafts or different types of fresh fruit drinks or sweets and cakes. There was lots of holiday goers here snapping away at the scenery with there big zoomed cameras, and having group family photos doing the usual 2 finger pose all Asians do in their photos. By now the sun had started to get to me and I was worn out and starting to tire. I had an hour to kill before I had to head back so i grabbed some food and then jumped in a taxi to bus station. The sun had definitely taken its toll because when I got on the bus home I was sleep before we got across the bridge. Overall it was a good journey and I think if it hadn't of rained on the Saturday I would have enjoyed it more and got out a bit and seen more sights. It was a long way to go for night and not seeing much. Lessons learnt, give yourself more time to explore as I think Penang had a lot more to offer.

 

Funny painting on the side of the house

 

 

Of the end of the Jetty

 

Pavilion Shopping Centre - KL. They have nothing on Queensgates Decs

 

 

 

Crazy Nights and Malacca Day Trip

Monday night would see my good friend Edd touch down on Malaysian soil for 2 weeks. I was looking forward to seeing a friendly face, a few nights after work, maybe a crazy Saturday night, some beers, good food and great conversation. None of this happened in the 2 weeks he was here however! I was quite grateful for the giant bars of Toberlone he had bought here for the team. Mainly because I ate my way through a good portion of it hiding at the back out of sight where I hoped it would get forgotten about.

The week was generally quite quiet at work, it was like a gentle breeze you get leading up to a storm. The storm in this case was the team night on Friday where everybody seemed to want to let off a lot of steam. Thursday I play futsal again and this time I played much better and the games more competitive. We won 4 out of 4 and I banged in a few goals. My skills still need some work but the touch is improving. So Friday came, we hadn’t been out together yet and I didn’t realise what I had let myself in for. An hour in and the Tequilas were flowing and night in full swing. The remainder of the night will be left unsaid here but let’s just say I woke with a pretty large hangover the next day, smelling of sick that wasn’t mine. You can purchase the uncut version of this blog for £1000 at the end of my journey.

Saturday was another night with the usual crowd down Changkat. To my disappoint Edd had deserted me, so it was a last minute night with my Malaysian friends in the usual club. Always a good night however and I met rather cute Malaysian Girl. They really know how to dance, Ill give them that and put English Girls to shame. Sunday, waking up with no hangover, I went food shopping and met Edd for a quick drink before being taken for some Banana leaf rice. Now if your, like me, wondering what Banana leaf rice is, believe it or not its rice in a Banana leaf. Well at least I think it is, still not quite sure. Whatever it is, it tasted very good but sadly no Banana flavour. However no matter how nice it tasted, it did not agree with my stomach for the next day and a bit. This was the first bad experience I had eating out in the local places.

Curry for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This was breakfast

Wednesday night came and it was time to try a new club. It was one of the Malaysians lads birthdays and we were going to a club called Rootz. It was a huge club at the top of a shopping mall. It was ladies night so you had to keep your wits about you. Though I entertained myself by playing “guess if that girls a girl” for some of the night. I never got close enough to any of them to do the cough and drop though.  The club itself was like a worse version of a Liquid back in the UK playing some terrible music over an even worse distorted sound system. Anyway I had work the next so it wasn’t a late one but I still felt a bit rough Thursday morning, mainly though tiredness.

The KL Liquid but with LadyBoys

Thursday, futsal night, boring futsal night. Not this time, after futsal one of the lads wanted to introduce me to infamous Beach Bar. I’d heard many rumours about this place, but never really believed them till I arrived. The rumours were true. A bar full of Thai, a few African hookers and lady boys. If I was drunk, I probably would have embraced the experience and gone with it, playing along with them and leading them on. But having only one beer, I felt rather uncomfortable and didn’t know where to look. After a while I started to find it rather funny. It’s not many times in your life you go into a bar and every “girl” that walks past you tells you “you’re gorgeous” and grabs your bum.  If only they wasn’t all hookers! I didn’t stay long, but long enough to know I won’t be going back anytime soon unless I’m still here when I’m 40, turned ugly and have to resort to paying for their company. Just looking at some of the guys in there that these girls could have been with turns me off, and to think I would be having their seconds and paying for the pleasure. No thanks! Its quite sad to think that the girls life’s are that bad that this is what they have to turn to. Maybe that’s how all these shopping malls are surviving, through prostitutes and pimps money. Still there were about 10 girls to 1 guy, so maybe not, they can all be getting business.

The Beach Club, Hookers were sheltering inside

 

 

Friday was a managers at works leaving due and also Edds last night. I was going to Malacca early the next day and Edd was flying at 2 in the morning, so I went and said my goodbyes. Edd fly’s out here for a long time on the day I fly home so there is a chance I won’t see him for 15 months after this night. Which, I hate to admit, is actually quite sad after sitting next to the guy for almost 9 years of our working life and being great mates. To sit next to someone for 9 years, hangout outside of work and get on so well and never argue I think is a pretty good feat.

See you in 15months!

 

So Saturday my alarm went off at 7.30! Boy was I not happy at waking up at 7.30 on a Saturday morning. I was so determined to eat breakfast before getting picked up at 8, I rolled out of bed, straight into my clothes, cleaned my teeth and left looking like id been dragged through a hedge. I was that tired I didn’t even put my contacts in, which is a first as I never step foot outside without them.  Anyway I jumped in the car, laid on the back seat and tried to sleep for the 2 hour journey. When we got there we went for the traditional breakfast of naan style bread and curry. Yep, curry for 2^nd breakfast. We headed to the town at which point the heavens opened and it battered it down with rain, so we took shelter in a shopping centre until it calmed down, 2 hours later. I amused the guys by doing my best Geri Halliwal impression and dancing in the rain (not to raining men). 

View at the top of the hill of Malacca

Once it calmed down we headed for the historical part of the day. There is a big Dutch and Portuguese influence here and you can this by looking at the architecture. We climbed up lots of stairs to this ruined religious building (St Pauls) where a few important Dutch historical figures were buried. I’m not to sure what it was but there was good view out the ocean sea. Id not seen the sea for at least year so I got little excited. After lots of photos and stair climbing we were all a little hungry so headed for some food. We replenished and then headed for the famous Malacca Coconut Milkshake, and I have to admit, it was very good.  Fresh Coconut milk and ice cream through a straw mixed with a few sexual references, what’s not to like.

Jonker St Night Market

Next came my favourite part of the day. Only because we were going to street that had the words Joker and Conker mixed together. Childish I know but we were heading to Jonker street, a night market full of food and well, crap it turns out. I didn’t buy anything, tried a few local delicacies and found a handmade chocolate shop. At the end of Jonker St was a nice river walk, which if the day had been nicer is where we was going to take a river cruise. After seeing the river I had wished it had been sunny. After walking round in a circle back to the top of Jonker St we found they had set-up a little show. Now this was no ordinary show, but was home to a performance from a man with a “SUPER POWER INDEX FINGER”. I found it funny as there was a tape on repeat with a Chinese guy trying to sell him, telling us all about his records. You had to be there and have a slightly immature personality. After waiting 30min for the man with a SUPER POWER INDEX FINGER to smash through 3 coconuts we gave up and headed back to the car. We were all pretty tired and the long day had started to take its toll. I managed to stay awake for the 2 hour drive home but passed out as soon as my bed hit the pillow at 1am. I woke up and headed to work on the Sunday at 6pm, till 12.30 that night after a 13 hour sleep.  Good weekend but a tiring one. Luckily I only have a 4 day week ahead.

 

Week 2 - The Batu caves and Tourist Experience

My second week at work was rather uneventful. By now I was fully settled in with offers flowing in for visits to various places that I asked to go. Sunday I would be paying a visit to Batu caves and Thursday night I would get my first taste of Malaysia 5 a side also known in these parts as Futsal. Wednesday night brought some laughter for the team for the week. Those who know me, know I like to trim the own sides off my hair and not trusting the Malaysia hair dressers I once again took on this task myself. Only this time was with some rather funny consequences. I slipped and took a large chuck of my hair off with a blade 0! There was nothing I could do but shave the other side, but not a stripe! Just really short and hope the other side would grow out in a week. So a number one all round. Turning up to work the next day looking like the 52nd member of solid crew I gave the team a good laugh. I'm supposed to be managing these guys, if my manager did that I would not be able to take him seriously but oh we'll, I think they found it funny and work went on.

Audition for Malaysia So Solid Crew was a hit

 

Thursday I played Footsal for the first time. I needed to do some exercise as all the cake and sweets I was being fed at work were taking the toll on once quite toned stomach. These Malaysians gave me a run for there money. Not being the most skilful of footballers it took me some time to settle in but I enjoyed every minute. It also turns out football is quite difficult when you can’t communicate. We played from 10 till 1 in sweltering humidity. I was dead by the end of it and was probably lost 2 stone in water.
 
Friday was a rather uneventful night but I went to meet my good friend Ginny and Zoe who were staying in KL for 2 nights. After I went out in Changkat with a lad from work for a relatively quiet night as I had made plans to get up early to meet Ginny.

Donkey Ride round KL Tower

The next day I took them to KLCC and showed them round. A stark contrast to Thailand where they were a few nights ago with huge shopping malls and the Petronas towers. To be honest I'm still not sure how all these Malaysians shopping malls survive as there doesn't seem that much money here maybe there is a big divide between the rich and the poor. They have more designer shops then London and the clothes are more expensive and there are 2 of these multiple £million shopping centres within a mile of each other. I'll give them one thing though; they do have a trendy fashion sense over here not far off London's Shoreditch areas. Possibly due to the influence of a few top shops. If an All Saints springs up somewhere before I leave I wouldn’t be surprised. After we had a look round the KL communication tower but refused to pay the expensive price to go to the top. We then headed to the bird park only to get stopped on the way by a thunderstorm. Luckily thier hotel was nearby so we managed to take shelter for an hour. We decided to go our separate ways and meet later after a change of clothes for some food and some drink. We went the Pavillion, the other shopping mall for food where we had an amazing meal of BBQ chicken and duck. So I know sounds like and every day meal but it tasted amazing and all for £3 a head. We then had a few beers, watched the football, while they told me all about their amazing travels for the year and some things I have to look forward to. It makes me rather excited for my few little travels round Asia. I also enjoyed watching Spurs lose to Wigan and Man Utd beating arsenal. Then it was home time to get some sleep ready for the early start for Batu Caves.

Monkey at Batu Caves Chilling

 

To be honest I didn't really know much about the place apart from it was good to look at and was a historical ground for Buddhists. We got there about 9 to climbs the 300+ steps before the midday heat. I'm glad we did. Before we descended on the stair way to Batu caves we chilled at the bottom waiting for a couple of others where an old wise Chinese man preceded to tell me that Malaysians refuse to come here because they were lazy and obese whilst looking at my friend who took offence. I just found it rather funny. We then took on the tiring task of climbing to the top and boy was this tiring. When we got to the top we were greeted with an impressive sight of limestone caves with the sunlight beaming through. Other than this, a few tourist stools with handmade items and a temple prayer building there wasn't much else to do so after 10 minutes we made our way back to the bottom.

The Stairs to the top, one day ill have a statue like this

 

 

After we went for breakfast and then off to the national monument. This was then followed to a trip to the old palace where I got a Royal Malaysian history lesson. I found this quite interesting with Malaysia being under British rule all those years ago. After the history lesson came my favourite part of the day. Believe it or not this came in the form of the trip to a good supermarket. I went crazy and bought enough food from 2 weeks and they even had a non halal section. Hello Mr bacon sandwich!!! Now I had enough food to cook for 2 weeks and make my much lived chilli. Superhot with the Chilli’s here so I headed home and cooked one up. By the time I had finished it was quite late so I headed for bed so I was ready for my third week at work!

Stair way to ..........

 

Caves view

 



 

Palace History

 

 

First Week and KLCC

So the first day at work was rather eventful. Thinking I had been clever and finding the office building the previous day and after been told this was the main office (clearly the security guard did not understand me) I ended up nowhere near I should have been. After a phone call the manager, lots of misdirection, I eventually got picked up in a taxi and arrived 45mins late covered in sweat and not smelling my usual Jean Paul Gaultier best. After this I settled down and went round the office and met everyone. The people I would be spending most of my working time with, and socially were the Superusers who I nervously met in a locked away Training Room. I’m not one for standing up in front of groups of people and introducing myself and I was kind of suspicious of why they were in a separate room. Turns out 2 days later I would be in here myself, making myself at home and being made to feel extremely welcome. The first week at work was largely uneventful and I even managed to walk to work the remaining 4 days without getting lost, although the telling 12-9 shift had started to take it out of me especially when I wasn’t sleeping well on my bed, which I’m starting to wonder if the mattress is made out of wood and pillows made out of duck beaks instead of feathers.

Some old run down Malaysian houses I pass on the way to work

 

 

Tuesday night would bring my first visit to Changkat with the lads from work for a leaving due. Changkat is a strip of bars that would expect to find in Malia or Kavos, but instead of being filled with 18yr old pikeys you have a few old expats, a few tourists, lots of Malaysian locals and a African hooker trying to convinve me to go with her by grabbing and pulling my nose. This strip of bars is 30seconds walk from my hotel so I got the feeling I would be spending a lot of time here and I was right. Tuesday night was rather low key, a few pints and some food. Thursday I was back there again, again low key with one of the lads from work giving me the rundown of where and when to go and some tastes of the local street food. Friday I would end up here again. This time less low key. At 1am I found myself quite drunk sitting at a bar on my own (the guy just left) with 4 Malaysian girls offering me drinks and cigarettes to join them. I kindly obliged and went and sat with them and tried to understand there broken English and make some small talk. I ended up having a dance till about 2 while be offered a few free pints but one of their lad mates I met inside. I said my goodbyes and headed home feeling rather good but slightly tired from my dancing and late night.

Underneath the Petronas Towers

 

 

Saturday feeling slightly hung-over I got up for breakfast and decided I would go for a walk and enjoy some of the heat. I headed to KLCC Park where the PETRONAS Towers are situated, the tallest twin towers in the world. It was starting to become hard to gage, just how tall buildings are as in KL a 40 story building is a regular occurrence. These are 80+ floors high however and tower above everything in sight. What happened next was rather surreal. I would be standing there, looking rather Essex in my vest and chino shorts, when 4 young lads asked for their photo. I didn’t really understand but I took the opportunity to feel like a celeb and let them flash away. Next 5 girls over and all had there photo taken. I decided to move and go sit down on the other side of the manmade lake. Next a family with a 1/2 year old kid come and sat next to me, passed me the kid to hold while the mum and dad sat either side. I thought this was rather strange by now and decided to leave. Since I have been here, I have been told I look Ryan Gosling so maybe it was a case of mistaken identity or they really do just love a westerner. After this I continued my walk round the park and chilled out for an hour taking in the rather tranquil surroundings writing this blog.

KLCC Park lake 2

 

 

Following my Ryan Gosling experience I just went for a walk with the purpose to almost get lost. I stumbled across the slums of KL and found some wild dogs having a fight. This was such a contrast to the area I was in only a few miles back down the road. I ended up back at the giant shopping mall not far from my hotel and proceeded to make my way back. I was very hungry and thirsty by now and the skies looked like they were about to open up. That night I would go out for Halloween. It’s not that big in Malaysia but they still put the effort in and get dressed up. I met a lad from work and wore the only Halloween thing I could find. Some light up devil horns I bought from a guy on the street. I had a funny night, met some lads I would be spending a few more nights out with, who looked after me, feeding me shots most of the nights, getting me blind drunk and introducing me the Malaysian ladies. I did however manage to have my photo taken with the Malaysian Jamie Oliver. Not that I would know this till Monday morning. I just assumed it was a crazy old guy getting in the Halloween Spirit. Sunday, obviously all the days were catching up with me I woke up at 5.30pm in the afternoon and it was safe to say, that the day was a right off. Week One in Malaysia had lived up to my expectations and I hoped there was more of the same to come. 

Me and a very crazy camp Chef Wan











The Jouney Begins......

My adventure started at Heathrow terminal 4 where I checked into the business class lounge about 12. The check-in desk girl accidentally told me I was going to Manila which I found quite funny considering work did mention they might send me there at one point during my discussions of trying escape England. I was greatest by a cup tea and was the only one in the lounge. At around 1 the food came out and people must have been able to smell it as with 10 min it was starting to get busy. Full of quite charters its all a bit boring really. People just sat reading the paper or in their phones and Laptops avoiding eye contact at all costs. I feed on the posh free food whilst watching bargain hunt on the TV. I’m quite upset with myself though that I didn’t take the opportunity to have a complimentary massage by good looking French girl. Feeling a bit tired and extremely full from my 10 courses it took me a while to start on the free drink in the lounge. Too many spoilt kids floating around for my liking. Some people clearly earn too much money and over feed their kids with posh chocolate cake! The rich get richer, the rich also get fatter in my opinion. They should consider paying for a good gym membership and not that chocolate cake desert. Another thing I noticed was lots of chinos and matching Louis button bags going round. Anyway I sat there until 5 min before take-off when I boarded the plane and sat in my well…..bed as it goes.

The plane took off and I was immediately greeted with a bowl of nuts and orange juice with the option of a newspaper which I declined. I picked up the food and drinks menu and told myself I was going to go through the whole list but I only managed once meal and 10 whiskey and cokes. Annoyingly the guy in front of me had managed to start his film 2 min on the plane ahead of mine. My only hope was he would break before me and go to the toilet. Much to my disappointed he didn’t and I ended up fast forwarding mine by 5 minutes to get in front of him. I got through 3 films in the time it took to get to Dubai where we changed over.

I tried to sniff it to see but all I got was cool minty sneeze

As soon as I got of the plane you could feel the heat hit you. Again I rushed through to the lounge where I relaxed with a chicken biryani which was stupidly hot with no warning, guess I better get used to it. I also see my first toilet with a hosepipe and even now I’m still sure what really goes on with those things. Anyway back on the flight, feeling slightly drunk I decided to sleep but asked the flight attendant to wake me up before breakfast. Gutted they had sold out the Farmhouse so I had to have a blueberry pancake before touch down in KL.

So how does this work. Turns out ill be seeing many more of these but not quite as nice as this one
 

Getting off the plane I had a long journey to get to passport control at KL and my luggage. A short monorail journey and I made it. At which point I realised I didn’t change any money so I then proceeded to the cash exchange. Coming out of the airport I jumped into the taxi and asked for the meter. It should have been 80ringit but was 130 in the end to KL as somehow the taxi driver got lost for an hour trying to find my hotel. In the end after I first thought he was just running the meter up but he started to get quite pissed off which when I decided to phone my manager in KL and get him to give directions. Not really what you want on 5 hours sleep and boiling heat in a foreign country. Finally I got to the hotel, my apartment and passed out on the bed where I slept till 1pm the next day.

Clearly MILF has a different meaning in Malaysia!

 

 

Sunday was quite boring, I went for a walk round the shopping mall and tried to get my baring’s round central KL, which I managed to a point. I’m 30seconds walk from the strip of bars which is handy or maybe not so much for my liver. It turns out KL is quite a lively place in the evenings but expensive for a beer. Being a Muslim country I they don’t drink so they tax drink highly.  Experienced my first KL “shower“.  When it rains here it really rain and boy did it rain. Got soaked with no umbrella walking home to my apartment. Being the outgoing and willing to try anything I thought I would try some local cuisine so I sat down to a Subway followed by a KFC later in the day. I also managed to find the office building so I was ready to go in the morning…….or did I……………

A KL "shower"